I dropped two of my classes today, and it felt like a fucking revelation.
Feeling myself in the midst of a manic episode (albeit a mild one) I can see the inevitable crash coming in the near future. I always do this, sign up for way too much and then do a mediocre job that benefits no one.
Regarding my classes, I need a total of 11 units to complete a degree in Studio Art. I am enrolled in 8 of them, and will need three more in the Spring. Being the obsessive failed overachiever that I am, I thought it would be cool to start a degree in Digital Art at the same time. I enrolled in a Photoshop class and an additional Adobe Illustrator class. It makes absolutely no sense. There is zero possibility that I will succeed in doing any of these particularly well.
I was frustrated that the Illustrator class relies fully on something called “Adobe Illustrator Classroom in a Book.” The Photoshop class is completely dependent on a Lynda.com subscription. The instructors are offering nothing in terms of additional instruction outside of due dates. So why stress myself out with deadlines provided by someone else when I can learn at my leisure another time?
Seeing as my job is in event management, I have no need for the units provided by these classes. I can learn them at any time. I’d love to pursue art as a part-time vocation at some part in the future, but there is no urgency in learning it all now. Besides, in the art world no one cares about your degree, only your portfolio. The step-by-step exercises that I was being told to do were not helping me add to my portfolio in any way. I love making art and these courses were actually keeping me away from doing so.
So halfway through a mind-numbingly boring “project” requiring the construction of a snowman with prefabricated parts, I logged out, dropped the courses, and cancelled my Lynda.com membership. Immediately I felt the stress fading away. I unclenched. I am now able to take a breath and focus on something else.
I’m telling you, a fucking revelation.